Who am I? No, I'm not here to each you how to live and no I'm not your kids' mother but, please just tell us how you met 'my' mother. Who is she? Giving us a glimpse of her ankle doesn't really tell us how you met her. And stop sleeping with girls just to see if she's the one, I don't think it works like that. Maybe just tell us how you know that she's the one. Was it love at first sight? The show is so long-winded and I don't even know how these stories are related to how you met 'my' mother.
Oh, and the whole thing with the yellow umbrella. So was that Stella's yellow umbrella? You got me so excited in that episode but then I realised we were a long way away from knowing who the mother was :(.
P.S. And it's pronounced douche as in doosh, not douch-ey.
sorry this was soooo boring; i didnt know what to write and i'm really bad at writing letters, let alone to a character from a tv show ahaha. I'll edit it sometime but yeah, that's all for now.